Showing posts from 2015

New Year

2015 was a transition year for me. I decided to be honest about what I want and take risks rather than lie to myself and make excuses to stay in my comfort zone. It was tough in the beginning, chaotic in the middle, and awesome in the end... Because in the end, it shows me a whole new world. I discover a smile I didn't know I had, I uncover a feeling that I didn't know existed in me...  I see myself. 


Anger is just anger.  It isn't good.  It isn't bad.  It just is.  What you do with it is what matters.  It's like anything else.  You can use it to build or to destroy. You just have to make the choice.
December 30th 2015


About FEAR.
"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me."
Used to be my daily mantra long time ago. Will start using it again for 2016.  Because FEAR DOESN'T SHUT US DOWN, IT WAKES US UP.
Monggo silakan lewat...

Mengingat vs Melupakan

Menulis adalah seni mengingat dan melupakan.  Kita harus melupakan apa yang sudah kita tulis, karena jika kita terus mengingatnya, kita tidak akan dapat memulai tulisan yang baru.  Tapi kita juga harus tetap mengingat apa yang sudah kita tuliskan atau kita baca, agar kita tidak mengulangnya di tulisan selanjutnya. 

Why do we cry?

WHY DO WE CRY? I don’t like crying. It makes me feel crazy and needy and overly emotional. It’s awkward and ugly, and I’d prefer that nobody, even myself, ever sees that side of me. So I avoid doing it at all costs. 
But sometimes inevitably I do burst in tears. There was nothing cute about it. It was the kind of heaving, snot-everywhere, physically-convulsing sort of cry. Yuck. Yuck..
Well, the process wasn’t pretty. But you know what happened after? I felt really, really, really, REALLY good.
I finally let myself be so sad that I got to be really happy again. 
*Crying is a sign of how much you care. Crying tends to follow a triggering moment. As embarrassing as it might be to cry in front of someone else, it’s often the most effective way of showing how much you care. Well maybe not for the other person, but for myself. 
*Crying feels good. Possibly more important than anything else, crying feels f*cking good.  Bottling up your feelings for long enough can actually start to hurt.  Crying take…

How I learn.

We have all hurt someone and love someone tremendously, whether by intent or accident.  It is an intrinsic human trait, and a deep responsibility, I think, to be an organ and a blade. To love and to be hurt.  But learning to forgive ourselves and others because we have not choosen wisely is what makes is human.  We make horrible mistakes, IT IS HOW WE LEARN. We breath love, IT IS HOW WE LEARN. And it is inevitable.

I don't want to know "whats up".

I don't want to know "whats up". I want to talk about death, the meaning of life, far away galaxies, sex, music that makes you feel different, memories, the lies you've told, your favorite scents, your childhood, what keeps you up at night, your insecurities and fear.  I like people with depth. Who speak with emotions from a twisted mind.
And of course, the topic of weather isn’t small talk, when you’re conversing with a meteorologist.
When we have a dialogue, every sentence open up gaps, which require a new beginning. 


Ask me, "Why would you travel on the difficult path?". 
Because , I trust GOD to walk me through the unknown journey.
Untuk semua kesulitan dan ujian dalam hidup ini, kiranya TUHAN sudah siapkan aku alas kaki yang kuat, bukan alas kaki sol merah, gak bisa lari atau jumpalitan kalau itu. Demikian pula untukmu. Aamiin.

Believe what I feel.

Sometimes I cannot believe what I see, but I have to believe what I feel. And if I ever going to have other people trust me, I must feel that I can trust them, too, even when I'm in the dark.  Even when I'm falling.


Ina Madjidhan

Just human after all...

Some nights I will feel like there are a thousand galaxies exploding in every inch of me and I am burning too bright to ever be looked at directly.
And some nights I will feel impossibly small, like my whole body could slip through the spaces between atoms and never reappear in this world again.
And some nights I will feel like a paper dolls, carefully crafted and easily blown away, fragile, too delicate to ever be touched.
Some nights I will feel like each cell in my body is made of the strength that holds the whole planet together. 
And that is okay.
Because I am made of stardusts and minuscule atoms and breakable bones and the bulding blocks of everything in the universe and I am too alive to never feel anything more than human.
I am a part of this living process. And it is okay to breakdown or incredibly sad or happy. I am allowed for tears or a good laugh, to fall in love and to have my heart broken to pieces that can never be put together again. I am just human after all..
Ina Madjidhan …

Stretching not stressing.

LIFE DEMANDS FOR US TO STRETCH OURSELVES.  For me, stretching doesn't only apply on my exercise routine, I try my best to surround myself with people who're smarter than I am, individuals who add values, who stretch me, optimistic & full of light. For us to really make it in life and not be defeated in life, life demands that we stretch ourselves. 
It is a demand of life.
Our spirit, the human spirit is like an elastic band. The more we stretch, the greater our capacity. To give it a little more trial, a little more risk, a little more pushing up and a little more stretching out.  Stretch it more and let all our ideal length be seen.  Our maximum self can only be known if we stretch hard till we can't do it any longer!
So stretch, don't stress.
Ina Madjidhan

Cyclist Nod or Wave.

I love the cyclist nod.
The nod is unique, it doesn’t necessarily happen only when someone is passing you, and you don’t have to be fully kitted out to get one.  I personally perceive the nod as someone saying “Hello! You are pedaling a bicycle! I am also pedaling a bicycle! We understand each other. Hurrah!”.
Whenever I give a nod, I like to smile, though I realize not all nods are smiley. Some of them are short and curt, (usually when you are on the downhill and the nod-instigator is on the uphill) and I perceive they sound like this– “Hullo. Legs hurt. You feel me? Carry on.” Those are good because we’ve certainly all been there before.
Then there are those folks with aero helmets who probably can’t nod because that would be creating air resistance.  I envision they are nodding in their heads, and they are saying this– “Pedal pedal pedal pedal cadence matters power meter number I’m going to get a KOM for this pedal pedal Hello/Bonjour/Ciao Old Chap pedal pedal need more power pedal.” 

Angels with broken wings.

Angels with broken wings, that only fly when loved.
Have you ever come across with tortured souls that are not able to live with hatred?  The type of people needs the most love anyone can give them because their soul has been constantly bruised by others?
However, despite the tragedy of what they have to go through in life, they remain the most compassionate people worth knowing, and the ones that often become activists for the broken hearted, forgotten and the misunderstood. 
Those are angels with broken wings. 
Drawing from


Untukmu kawan-kawanku perempuan-perempuan perobek malam. Pagi ini aku tergelitik akan tulisan Naga Ketjil setahun lalu yg muncul kembali di linimasaku.
"Aku adalah perempuan perobek malam. Bukan karena aku membencinya. Tapi karena aku ingin berjumpa pagi. Pagi yang cerah, yang hangat.
Aku hanya sedikit khawatir. Berapa banyak perempuan di luar sana yang mengalami kejadian serupa? Pasti seperti gunung es saja. Aku tidak ingin kalian diam. Bicaralah. Aku memilih bersuara karena aku tidak ingin ada yang bernasib serupa. Aku memilih menjadi penyintas. Klise? Kupikir tidak. Karena tidak ada satupun kekerasan yang bisa dibenarkan. Pun kekerasan yang hadir di balik pintu rumah mungil yang indah."
That day, I said to myself : Hurt shouldn’t pile up like this inside of someone.  No one should suffocate beneath pain on top of pain.  We all should have time to breathe, time to scream it out until it doesn’t exist anymore. So I did, I scream it o…

My demon.

What, if some night a demon were to steal after you into your dreams and say to you: 'This life as you now live it and have lived it, you will have to live once more and innumerable times more'

Mari jadi masyarakat inklusif.

Dad's cartoon of teen daughter with Down syndrome celebrates her normalcy.
"The vision that people have of people like Jessica, and Down syndrome in particular, is that they see something they need to help, someone they need to do something for," Wills said. "I think things are changing, but we want people to engage special-needs people all the time, and not just once a year when it's time to volunteer."

No coincidences.

There are no coincidences in life.   People whose wandered in and out of our life was there for some purpose, even if they caused us harm.  Sometimes, it doesn’t make sense the short periods of time we get with people, or the outcomes from their or our choices.

Expanded Heart.

If you pour a handful of salt into a cup of water, the water becomes undrinkable.  But if you pour the salt into a river, people can continue to draw the water to cook, wash, and drink.  The river is immense, and it has the capacity to receive, embrace, and transform. 
When our hearts are small, our understanding and compassion are limited, and we suffer.  We can’t accept or tolerate others and their shortcomings, and we demand that they change.  But when our hearts expand, these same things don’t make us suffer anymore.  We have a lot of understanding and compassion and can embrace others.  We accept others as they are, and then they have a chance to transform.
Ina Madjidhan for #gerakanBERBAGI

Are you listening?

Are you listening?
I'm all ears this morning listening to one of my girl friend struggling stories. I've learn but still have to resist myself from jumping in on their sentences, saving them from actually finishing, or talk over them, allowing what they do manage to get out to be lost or altered in transit.  Instead, I have been tought to wait, so they have to keep going. And at the end of that conversation I ask myself "Ina, have you been listening? Were you been a good listener?"
"We have two ears and one mouth, so we should listen more than we say." Zeno of Citium

Let shit go.

The most important piece of advice my past has given me is to enjoy life while we're living it. We can never know which moments can be the one that we will remember and when happiness will hit us.
So I am open for anything at anytime. I'll not fret over the past, but I'll learn from it. And I'm making new memories everyday.
FOR THERE IS  ONLY ONE LIFE AND ONE CHANCE. So I'm letting shits go. *ngibrit ke toilet*
Ina Madjidhan

Good Love

Good love : one that burns and flies and you run with it.


I just have to make sure she never went a day without and always showered her with love and affection. And teaching her to give herself closure.  Closure is coming to terms with the situation and giving herself permission to move forward.  I am teaching myself the same things too.. 
It is okay to let go of the past. We are not betraying ourselves by letting go of the anger and the “evidence.”
Ina Madjidhan

tulisan acak pagi jelang siang mengenai 2 kata CINTA & RINDU

*tulisan acak pagi jelang siang mengenai 2 kata CINTA & RINDU*
Kata "CINTA" adalah suatu proses, bisa dikatakan dengan kelembutan ataupun penuh kekejian, (ingatlah bahwa cinta tak selalu indah kadang ia mengikat bahkan menenggelamkanmu). Kata CINTA adalah suatu pernyataan jujur yang kita ungkapkan pada satu sama lain. *Seandainya kita benar-benar selalu hanya berkata jujur.
Dan kata RINDU adalah ungkapan keinginan untuk bertemu seseorang yang hanya bisa mulai kita rasakan setelah kita saling bertemu.  Aku tidak mungkin merindukanmu jika aku belum pernah menemukanmu.  Aku tidak pernah merindukanmu sebelum kita bertemu. 


When I was a little girl, everything in the world fell into either of these two categories: WRONG or RIGHT.  BLACK or WHITE. 
Now that I am an adult (at least my age said so), I have put childish things aside and now I know that some things fall into wrong and some things fall into right.  Some things are categorized as black and some things are categorized as white. 
But most things in the world aren't either! 
They aren't black, aren't white, aren't wrong, aren't right, but most of everything is just DIFFERENT. 
And now I know that there's nothing wrong with different, and that we can let things be different, we don't have to try and make them black or white, we can just let them be grey.  Grey is okay.

If You Love Me.

What we said and how we said it won't be important any more. What will be important are all the things we never got to say.

Masih Sakti kah Pancasila?

1 Oktober adalah hari dimana bangsa Indonesia sedang mengingat kembali sejarah Hari Kesaktian Pancasila. Peristiwa yang seharusnya sangat penting untuk bangsa Indonesia dalam catatan sejarahnya maupun kemerdekaannya.
Kesaktian Pancasila sepatutnya tercermin dari kepribadian rakyat negeri ini. Minimal dimulai dari diri sendiri dulu lah yang selalu memandang bahwa Tuhan itu Maha Esa sehingga kita tetap beriman dan terhindar dari perbuatan salah/melanggar hukum, lalu berkembang ke sekitar kita dengan semangat gotong-royong dan tenggang rasa, kemudian memiliki sifat dan sikap adil dan beradab untuk kemanusiaan dan sosial (yang ada di sila 2 dan 5) lalu diantara semangat kebersamaan (gotong-royong) itu kita memiliki pemimpin yang bijaksana untuk kemudian kita menjadi Persatuan Indonesia. 
Jika semua ini terwujud dari dalam diri kita masing-masing maka kita punya Bangsa dan Negara Indonesia yang membanggakan bagi rakyatnya maupun dari pihak luar.
Apapun keadaa…

What if?

If love is blind, then maybe a blind person that loves has a greater understanding of it. Because I don't understand at all.. *plirak plirik*
What if my decisions are wrong? What if I missed my opportunity?  What if I settled on familiar, but God was trying to give me something better?  What if I decided not to, but I should?  What if doing what I have never done before was the answer to everything that didn't make sense?  What if I found the courage to do what I really wanted to do and doing it changed my whole life?  What if...?  What if...?  
*kemudian hening dan terdengar suara rengginang digigit*KRAUUUK*

Falling for a person.

Falling for a person isn't a process.  You can't plan for it in advance or anticipate its arrival. Love strikes in single moment. Anywhere. Anytime. Someday you catch them sitting in the sun, or singing dreadfully in the shower. Or you see that  unforgettable smile in their eyes.  And you think : "Oh I could spend all my life with you."

Hitam Putih 25 Agustus 2015 - Indahnya Berbagi Full


Hitam Putih 25 Agustus 2015 Part 2


Hitam Putih 25 Agustus 2015 Part 1


Seni Berkehidupan.

Berkehidupan itu adalah seni. Apapun yang kita lakukan.  Cara kita berpakaian. Tutur kata dan perilaku kita. Bagaimana kita tersenyum dan bercinta.  Gerak gerik kita, tiap lekukan di tubuh kita. Bagaimana kita meninggalkan kesan pada jiwa-jiwa yang kita sentuh. Semua adalah seni.
Ina Madjidhan 13 September 2015

#MenolakLupa MUNIR

MUNIR mungkin hanya sebuah nama buat sebagian orang. Tapi masa kedewasaan saya dipenuhi cerita mengenai seorang aktivis bernama MUNIR. Beliaulah yang membangunkan riak-riak empati dalam jiwa saya dahulu.
Hukum tanpa hukuman, hanyalah rangkaian kata-kata. 7 September 11 tahun silam adalah September kelam bagi para aktivis HAM. Tahun 2004 itu kecil sekali yang saya lakukan demi hak korban kekerasan, paling banter saya ikut aksi solidaritas bersama komunitas-komunitas yang aktif saat itu.
Munir Said Thalib berakhir hidupnya saat melakukan perjalanan dari Jakarta menuju Amsterdam. Hingga saat ini kita masih mencari jawaban atas pertanyaan siapa harusnya yang bertanggung jawab atas pembunuhan Munir. Kematian Munir adalah referensi harapan akan kebenaran dan keadilan di negeri ini. HUKUM TANPA HUKUMAN, apakah ini potret negeri? Jangan pernah berhenti mempertanyakan, hingga ada jawaban. 
Ina Madjidhan 7 September 2015.  11 tahun kematian MUNIR.
Mari kirimkan AlFatihah untuk Munir Said Thalib.

Time get better.

I solve it as I get older, when I reach the point where I've tasted so much that I can somehow sacrifice certain things more easily, and I have a more tolerant view of things like possessiveness (my own) and a broader acceptance of the pains and the losses. Thats what aging does to me. You see, time don't get older, it get better.
Ina Madjidhan 3rd September 2015


Menua adalah saat kita berhenti menanyakan mengenai ini, itu dan segala hal lainnya. Menua adalah saat kita lupa bagaimana mencintai seseorang atau lebih parah lagi saat kita sudah tidak peduli. Menua adalah saat kita tak mau lagi belajar mengenai hal-hal baru. Menua adalah saat orang lain mengatakan "Kamu sudah menua." Dan kita mempercayainya.
*Aku orangnya gak percayaan sih*
Ina Madjidhan 3 September 2015

We should cry.

I love photo like this.  It really shows the real me. I am happy and mellow at the same time.  I laugh a lot as much as I cry.  I believe that people who don't cry when they're hurt, they will cry when they're happy. Everyone produces tears, and they should cry. 
Photo by Dezig.

Age has given me : ME

On my 40-ish.
As I take a dip in the pool, I wonder why never before I feel so comfortable in my own skin. I guess getting older gives me that sense of comfort.  This is me.  I'm good with being me.
Age has given me what I was looking for my entire life - it has given me : me .  It has provided time and experience and failures and triumphs and time-tested friends who have helped me step into the shape that was waiting for me.  I fit into me, now.  I have an organic life, finally, not necessarily the one people imagined for me, or tried to get me to have.  I have the life I longed for.  I have become the woman I hardly dared imagine I would be.
Ina Madjidhan @inamadjidhan 3rd September 2015


AUDAX PARIS BREST PARIS 1.200km, Agustus 2015.
Event ini merupakan uji ketangguhan dan keberanian manusia dalam bersepeda. Audaxionist sendiri memiliki arti kata “seorang pemberani” dalam bahasa Perancis. BOB BHARUNA, 47 tahun adalah seorang pesepeda Indonesia yang memenuhi kualifikasi untuk mengikuti event Paris Brest Paris dikarenakan ia telah menyelesaikan event Audax 200 km, 300 km, 400 km dan 600 km dalam satu tahun yang menjadikannya seorang super randonneur.
Pada tanggal 16-20 Agustus 2015, Audax Paris Brest Paris ke 18 akan diselenggarakan oleh AUDAX CLUB PARISIEN dengan menempuh jarak 1.200 km, yang berlangsung setiap empat tahun di Perancis. 
Aksi bersepeda ini patut mendapat acungan jempol, dimana seorang warga negara bumi pertiwi ini membawa nama bangsa atas inisiatif dan biaya sendiri.
Ada manusia-manusia yang tak lelah memberikan kebanggaan utk bangsa ini, bagaimana dengan diri kita sendiri? 
Ina Madjidhan utk 

Mastery is skill learnt.

Focus in what we want in life. Understand that we become a master in what we repeatedly do in consistency. Mastery is not born, it is acquired. It is not blood-linked, it is skill-learnt! 


Most people ask me why am I not afraid to share my weakness, my stories. I believe that by sharing my weakness is to make myself vulnerable, to make myself vulnerable is to show my strength.  Yes I've been through shits. And look what I have become from it.

Solid Dependable Silent Companion.

When I ride my bike I feel free and happy and strong. Liberated from the usual nonsense of day to day life. My bike is a solid dependable silent companion. 

A person is..

A person is, among all else, a material thing, easily torn and not easily mended.

Solid Dependable Silent Companion.

When I ride my bike I feel free and happy and strong. Liberated from the usual nonsense of day to day life. My bike is a solid dependable silent companion. 

Let all the steam out.

This is what I need after a long day at the hospital doing social works. I need to let all the steams out by riding my bicycle. Good ride, good friends and good food.  Life is good when you managed to see how fortunate are you with your good health, family and friends.  I love my Saturday Ride or Sunday Ride or everyday ride and also my runs. I'm making the effort to stay active all the time. To keep my mind in peace, to have time to be with myself and talk with The All Mighty through my prayers, through my solitude. 
Ina Madjidhan
Photo by Dezig.

Be scared.

I was talking to my own reflection this afternoon, "No, No.. It is not the bad things outside that you should be scared off. It is the bad things hiding inside you that can tear you apart in a moment. Be scared of them."

Be a good example.

Be an example. Show kindness to unkind people. Forgive people who doesn't deserve it. I truly believe that the weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. And don't we all strong enough to do so? Love unconditionally. Our action always reflect who we are.

Put Our Broken Pieces Together.

When something breaks, We throw it away.
People have said that it’s part of the modern culture, our culture, that it’s the reason for everything from our divorce rate to our piles of trash. When something breaks, we throw it away.
In our culture of throwing-away, our society are filled with broken people hiding their scars in shame. Since this world is not always a safe place to show our ragged edges and search for healing, we metaphorically superglue ourselves back together and hope no one notices the growing cracks.
I truly believe that GOD will fills in our cracks and puts our broken pieces back together with something more beautiful and precious. That is why I'm not ashamed to bare my scars.
I wear my battle scars proudly, knowing that I've become a better person from it. 
Rather than trying to hide the flaws in my life, I make a pledge to highlight them in gold, baring the cracks and scars and adopting them as a part of my journey.
Ina Madjidhan

Don't settle for any kind of abusive behavior.

I was in this situation for almost 13 years, thinking that as long as someone doesn't lay a hand on me despite all the hurtful words & disrespectful behavior, it is OK.
It is NOT OK. I was broken in pieces emotionally, I didn't know how I managed to recovered and be this person today. But I did. With the help of my GOD, my supporting family and friends & my own strong will.
I've been socializing about domestic abuse in general since last year, don't be ashamed and hide yourself if you're happen to be in that kind of relationship, seek for help, get yourself out from that situation. NO BODY DESERVED TO BE IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP. It has been a year since I let myself free.
Today, I am stronger, a little bit wiser, and I learnt about self respect during my struggle time. I'm sending out prayer for all domestic violence survivors and victims, may ALLAH gives you strength and help you to free yourself. Aamiin.
Ina Madjidhan

Kintsukuroi, happy 13th birthday, Z.

Kintsukuroi, more beautiful for having been broken. Thats what you and I are, my lovely Zahra.
Life is all about turning ugly breaks into beautiful fixes. Yes, our journey was not an easy one, but try to look at it as our golden journey. Let us make a pledge, rather than trying to hide the flaws in our so called "broken" life, we will highlight them in gold, baring the cracks and scars and adopting them as a part of our golden journey. Happy 13th birthday, be happy always. 
Mama.  July 20th 2015.

Me & My Bike

Something that I love to do, being outdoor with my bike. 

Metro TV News, July 7th 2015.

Metro TV News, July 7th 2015.

People in your past.

Don't stress over people in your past. There's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.
#belajar #learning


HOME is where our story begins......
And ended.....

Ajaib rasanya, bagaimana bangunan yang dulu biasa kusebut rumah ini, kini hanya menjadi tempat tinggal bagiku. Brick by brick, it was my sweat and blood. I was so damn proud of this place that I used to called HOME.

Tapi sekarang, tak lebih dari sekedar tempat berteduh. Tidak ada rasa tersisa yang membuatku ingin berlama-lama di sini. Aku memalingkan wajah tiap melintasi selasar, atau saat pintu ruang shalat di lantai dua terbuka. Terkadang aku miliki keberanian untuk memasukinya, jemariku meraba pintu lemari yang menyisakan gurat terkena hantaman kursi kerja dulu. Kilatan kejadian masih datang. Pegangan pintu lemari penyebab lebam, atau bunyi pintu terkunci penanda kebebasan hilang sesaat.

Saat menjelang tidur dan aku mengunci pintu kamar, aku teringat betapa seringnya dulu pintu ini menjadi luapan kekesalan manusia-manusia di tempat ini. Suara bantingan pintu jati yang menggetarkan jendela-jendela rumah. 

This house, it's not a home…

Beautiful People

The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths.  These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern.  Beautiful people do not just happen.

A letter for my daughter, Z.

July 3rd 2015. My dearest girl,  You will grow up, and you will want to live a life completely as a woman and be marry to someone.  I can only give you advices, and support your decision fully. 
Remember to be careful so you do not offer too much of yourself to a man until you have good, solid evidence that he is a strong man willing to commit. Look at his track record with other women.  Is there anything to be concerned about there?  If so, bring it up.  Also, does he have any close male friends - and what are they like as men?  Can he hold down a job?  Is he walking with our RABB in a real way?  Is he facing the wounds of his own life, and is he also demonstrating a desire to repent passivity and violence?  Is he headed somewhere with his life?  A lot of questions, questions that I didn't get the nerves to asked to the man I once married. But always remember, your heart is a treasure, and we want you to offer it only to a man who is worthy and ready to handle it well. Do not make the same mi…

My "princess" story.

Every woman was once a little girl.  And every little girl holds in her heart her most precious dreams.  She longs to be swept up into a romance, to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, to be the princess of the story. 
And yet―how many women do you know who ever find that life? 
I didn't. 
Most women think they have to settle for a life of efficiency and duty, striving to be the women they "ought" to be but often feeling they have failed. 
I'm telling you, I did.
After more than 13 years, I realized : My heart - Our heart matters more than anything else in all creation. The desires you had as a little girl and the longings you still feel are telling you of the life you should live. 
That day, I let happiness pursue me. I understand that if I pursue happiness, I am just an ordinary person. But, if I let happiness pursues me, it will be extraordinary.  I am a princess after all. 
In order to let happiness pursue me, I have to make the most difficult decision in my li…

Melepaskan untuk terganti.

*ini photo 1 minggu lalu*
Gugur untuk tumbuh lagi
Begitu melihatku, Ilham langsung bangun dari tidurnya, ia hendak salim.
Melihat helaian rambutnya tersisa di bantal aku sontak tertegun. Mau nangis rasanya liat gumpalan rambut yang lepas begitu saja. *botak lagi deh ini anak*
Itu kemarin. Hari ini Ilham di ruang isolasi, aku berkeras gak mau masuk ruangan krn aku sendiri lagi gak fit. Dari pintu kaca aku berteriak "Haaaam, itu kepala trondol jeleeek! Cukur aja sekalian gundulin aaaah!"
"Iya, Kak. Nungguin bapak datang nanti malam." Jawabnya lirih. Tetap tersenyum.
Banyak kali memang kita harus ikhlas melepaskan apa yang kita miliki, karena kita yakin RABB akan menggantikan yg lebih baik. Begitu pula rambut adik-adikku yg berjuang melawan kanker ini. InsyaAllah menjadi penggugur sakit mereka utk digantikan dg kesehatan yg sempurna. Aamiin.
Ina Madjidhan 2 Juli 2015.


For me, being beautiful has nothing to do with physical appearance. It's your character as a person, its how you make others feel about themselves.

The things we do.

We should be remembered for the things we do. The things we do are the most important thing of all. They are more important than what we say or what we look like. #gerakanBERBAGI @inawiro

Anything we lose come round in another form.

I have been working as a social worker, as a companion for children with cancer and their family since 2010.  My heart get broken every time we have to let these kids go to a better place.  I lost these beautiful souls but gain more family and love from their parents and relatives.  I learn that I should not grieve. Anything I lose comes round in another form.

Dealing with pain.

Every heart has a pain. Only the way of expressing it is different. Fools hide it in eyes, while the brilliant hide it in their smile.

Stay Faithful

For those whose have a spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend, please STAY FAITHFUL.  You shouldn't have time to look for another person because you should be too busy looking for new ways to love your own.

One Positive Action.

A thousand disappointments in the past, can not equal the power of one positive action right now. Berapa banyak kali kita dikecewakan? Atau gagal dalam usaha yang kita lakukan?  Tiada artinya sama sekali jika kita terus berusaha demi mencapai keberhasilan. Yakinlah bahwa tiap kegagalan menjadikan kita lebih hati-hati, lebih bijaksana dan cermat saat ini. Bahwa kita menjadi manusia yang lebih baik setelah kegagalan itu.  Go ahead and go for it!


Jadilah manusia yang BISA MERASA. Bukan manusia yang MERASA BISA. 

I never lose.

I never lose. Either I win or I learn. 

You just aren't that person anymore.

You just aren't that person anymore.  I did this, it was a good closure.


You are even more beautiful for having been broken. #belajar

A Cute Letter from a newly married girl to her mother.

Dear mom,Like every normal girl, I was excited about marriage right from my childhood days. I never thought beyond the time that I would spend happily with my prince charming.But today when I am married, I realize that marriage is not all roses. It’s not just about being with your beloved and having a gala time. There is so much more to it. It comes with its own share of responsibilities, duties, sacrifices and compromises.I can’t wake up anytime I want to.
I am expected to be up and ready before everyone else in the family.
I can’t laze around in my pyjamas throughout the day.
I am expected to be presentable every time.
I can’t just go out anytime I want to.
I am expected to be sensitive to the needs of the family.
I just can’t hit the bed anytime I want to.
I am expected to be active and around the family.
I can’t expect to be treated like a princess but am supposed to take care of everyone else in the family.And then I think to myself, ‘why did I get married at all?’ I was happier with you…

"Why We Shout In Anger"

When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other to cover that great distance.
What happens when two people fall in love? They don't shout at each other but talk softly, Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is either nonexistent or very small...'
When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper'n they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other'n that's all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.'
'So when you argue do not let your hearts get distant, Do not say words that distance each other more, Or else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return.'

Advice from a divorced man.
These are lessons I learned the hard way. These are lessons I learned too late. But these are lessons I am learning and committed in carrying forward. Truth is, I loved being married, and in time, I will get married again, and when I do, I will build it with a foundation that will endure any storm and any amount of time.

Past is Past.

The hardest thing I've learnt this year was that some people are better left in your past, no matter how bad you want them in your present.  Deleting your number from my phone book. Past is past.

Minta Maaf.

Ada saja yg sibuk memperdebatkan dalil saling bermaafan sebelum puasa. 
Baiklah, ini pendapat saya pribadi: Memang tdk ada dalil khusus yg menunjukkan bahwa Rasulullah Shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam melakukan saling bermaafan menjelang Ramadhan, tetapi tdk ada salahnya bila setiap orang melakukannya. Memang seharusnya bukan hanya pd momentum Ramadhan saja, sebab meminta maaf itu dilakukan kapan saja & kpd siapa saja.
Rasanya tdk perlu kita sampai mengeluarkan vonis bid’ah bila ada fenomena demikian, hanya lantaran tdk ada dalil yg bersifat eksplisit. Sebab kalau semua harus demikian, maka hidup kita ini akan selalu dibatasi dgn beragam bid’ah. 
Bulan Ramadhan itu adl bulan pencucian dosa, Rasulullah Shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam bersabda, “Siapa yg menegakkan Ramadhan dgn iman & ihtisab, maka Allah telah mengampuni dosanya yg telah lalu. (HR Bukhari & Muslim)
Kalau Allah Subhanahu wa ta’ala sudah menjanjikan pengampunan dosa, maka tinggal memikirkan bagaimana meminta maaf kpd se…

#emotionsProject Confused


..tapi bingung sama siapa.. 😜 *kumat*
#EmotionsProject  I try to stay in a constant state of confusion just because of the expression it leaves on my face. Seriously.. Don't be afraid to be confused. Try to remain permanently confused. Anything is possible. Stay open, forever, so open it hurts, and then open up some more, until the day you die.

Emotions Project : HAPPY

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart : EMOTIONS.
Happy. For me HAPPY is when you have good thoughts, they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.