Showing posts from 2017

Happy New Days!

So what have I learned all of those days? 16.060 days of my life?That my complaints, my drama, my victim mentality, my whining, my blaming, and all of my excuses have NEVER gotten me a single step closer to being happy. So I learn to let go of my nonsense.And I treat every day like it’s a new year because it really is. I set my goals everyday to set a certain distance from people with dramas and all the things above. They may continue to do so, maybe they need it and it is none of my business. It is their life not mine. Pray more, be genuine, kind and happy, my friends. Happy New Days!

Authentic self.

I love and need to be authentic, and I believe the place to be genuine is in one's relationships.That's what real love is about, to letting a person be what he or she really is. The truth is, most people love us for who we pretend to be. And to keep their love, we keep pretending - performing. We don't look fake when we unconsciously pretend.Then, we're locked in an image, an act - and the sad thing is, we could get so used to that image, we grow attached to our masks and forget all about who we really are. And what’s more sad than that is, when someone try to point it out to us, to remind us to be our authentic self, we get defensive and angry, its almost like we don’t want our most precious lie to be taken away from us. Yes, it is a lie, but we are so used to it.
I can only say this because it happen to me many years ago.Until one day I decided to be the real me, the ugly me. Many of my friends doesn’t like that “authentic me”.But I didn’t care what others think about…

Perfectly Imperfect

I love this photo because it’s so real. (Most of us will notice straight away about what’s so real about this pfoto). 
You know these days especially in social media or digital world,  it’s virtually impossible to tell what’s real, what’s been digitally altered and what’s just plain ol’ fake. We keep on asking ourselves are they just altered? Or is it the case of a really good filter? How come her hair is always perfect? What about her well toned abs? She must have a perfect life because she’s traveling all the time. We envy someone’s life because it looks like they have all the material things in the world.
But here is a little advice I give myself, it might work for you too: STOP COMPARING yourself to anyone, even if they are for real. We are all unique and living an exquisite path. Perfectly imperfect. That is what we are. I am proud of my still a bit flabby tummy because I work hard for it, my grey hairs here and there a sign of (hopefully) maturity, my skinny and vainly hands (lots…


Ditulis ulang dari tulisan tahun 2014.
JUJUR. #honest Mungkin menjadi orang JUJUR adalah salah satu ujian yg berat dari banyaknya ujianku hingga hari ini.Alih-alih ingin jujur ternyata akibatnya berat sekali. Membuatku paham kenapa banyak orang lebih memilih untuk berada dalam keadaan "nyaman walau palsu" atau bahasa inggrisnya "Reassuring Lie". Tidak semua orang mau atau sanggup menerima kejujuran. Karena tidak semua kejujuran itu menyenangkan, karena lebih nyaman berpaling dan pura2 tidak tahu akan kebenaran. Dan banyak alasan lain.
Sanggupkan kita mendengar seseorang berhenti mencintai kita lagi? Mampukah kita mendengar bahwa sebenarnya mulut kita terlalu pedas saat melontarkan komentar2. *padahal rasanya kita kasih nasihat bukan kritik* Bisa gak kita menerima pernyataan dari sahabat kita bahwa ketek kita bau? Hal-hal sederhana maupun prinsipal yang jika kita tidak berbesar hati menerimanya, akan memancing perasaan terhina, kecewa bahkan marah.
Tapi aku belajar bah…

Pemuda Bersumpah : Sumpah Pemuda

This photo shows some of my attempt for the good of this country as a proud Indonesian Youth. (I know, I know.. I’m not young anymore.. 😂 Bare with me, today is Indonesian Youth Pledge Day)
So, here are some of my attempts : - Start doing social work since 2010 until today.  - To help Indonesian Red Cross so they have enough blood supply in this country with over 250 million people. - Helping Indonesia remote area like Rogaria Village in Flores on education and health aspects. - Raising awareness about Domestic Violence and how to free Indonesian women, men and children from it. - Setting good example by doing a lot of charity works.
Youth Pledge Day (Indonesian: Sumpah Pemuda) was a declaration made on 28 October 1928 by young Indonesian nationalists in the Second Youth Congress (Indonesian: Kongres Pemuda Kedua). They proclaimed three ideals, one motherland, one nation and one language. (Or should we ask the legitimacy about this to Mr Anis Baswedan - former Indonesian Minister of Educati…

A meaningful little things.

Little things make a big difference.Running down with my runny nose to get my coffee and breakfast at @thefinalstepcafe 
I was making a comment yesterday that their almond latte doesn’t taste as usual.Turn out they ran our of their usual almond milk.
This morning as I enter their door the barista was saying “you got nothing to worry today, we got back our almond milk.”
Small things like this, just like when you’re tapping your phone giving someone a like, love or smile or whatever emoticon on their social media, it what makes our day. Knowing that someone takes the time just to give a little attention, we all should realize how big of an impact it does to whoever is receiving it.The small things of life were often so much bigger than the great things ; a “thank you”, a “little attention”, a “little favor”, a “little hug”, a “little kiss”.
Thank you, my friends for your little attention.
You got only 2 choices in life : STAY KIND OR BE KINDER.
It is easy.

Tomorrow’s not guaranteed to anybody.

As I sit quietly enjoying the sun, I wonder if I would still be able to do the same tomorrow. I close my eyes and truly feel thankful for being alive.
In this life, right now is the only sure thing there is.Tomorrow’s not guaranteed to anybody. So, by all means, live for today. Enjoy each day as if it were your last. DO WHAT YOU LOVE EVERY DAY.
Ina MadjidhanSeptember 26th 2017

Difficult Quests Are Awesome

Duduk menyeruput kopi sambil mengingat kembali apa yang kualami beberapa tahun yang lalu.
Kukira, kalau kita berani memberikan kredit pada seseorang atas penderitaan yang kita alami, kita harus punya cukup keberanian untuk memberi kredit pada orang yang sama akan hal-hal yang baik yang terjadi karena penderitaan itu.
Maka aku berterima kasih atas kemalasanmu yang menjadikanku wanita yang mampu bekerja begitu keras demi keluarganya.
Aku berterima kasih untuk kekasaran kata-katamu yang menjadikanku mengerti betapa menenteramkannya saat menerima kata-kata yang penuh kelembutan.
Aku berterima kasih akan keteguhanmu untuk tidak melepaskanku, membuatku paham bahwa memang kita patut berpegang sekuatnya akan apa yang memiliki arti dalam hidup kita.
Aku berterima kasih akan dendammu saat kamu tahu tidak ada harapan untuk mempertahankanku, hari itu aku belajar : setiap keputusan dalam hidup kita, disertai dengan konsekuensi yang kadang tak pernah kita bayangkan.
Nothing in the world is worth having o…

Silence Is The Best Reply To A Fool.

Apa sih ciri2 orang BERILMU?
Saat orang lain melakukan kesalahan, orang berilmu tak menuding karena ia faham bahwa kesalahan harus dilalui untuk menjadi manusia yang lebih baik. 
Orang berilmu tidak gemar berdebat, ia tahu yg terbaik adalah dengan pembuktian dalam keseharian. DOING NOT ONLY SAYING.. 
Kita mungkin tidak cukup berilmu untuk tidak dengan mudah merasa paling benar saat orang lain melakukan kesalahan atau meninggalkan perdebatan yang sia-sia.Tapi tiap manusia miliki kemampuan utk menahan lidah. Istilah DIAM ITU EMAS sungguh ada benarnya. Setidaknya kita cukup berilmu utk menahan lidah..
“Aku jamin rumah di dasar surga bagi yang menghindari berdebat sekalipun ia benar, dan aku jamin rumah di tengah surga bagi yang menghindari dusta walaupun dalam bercanda, aku jamin rumah di puncak surga bagi yang baik akhlaknya” (HR Abu Daud)
“Sedikit berbicara adalah sebuah hikmah yang amat besar. Oleh karena itu, hendaklah kalian banyak diam, karena banyak diam adalah satu ketenangan hidup da…


Repost from 2015.
I posted this as a reminder to myself last year. Posting it again as a reminder not only for me but to all my friends. 
Dear you,You know you are not bound to live the same life you lived yesterday over and over again.Life is about growing, adapting, changing, learning and moving forward. Sometimes you will try something on and it just might not fit, it might not suit you or it might not be exactly what you are looking for. And you know what? THAT IS OK. It's completely ok to close the door to something and open another. Just tread gently to wherever you go and in whatever you choose to do. Respect that everyone is just trying to find their way just as you are. Though some may not be as brave and many are burden by knowing in their hearts they choose the wrong door but still stay confined.Paralyzed by fear. Just like you were.
So remember to stay humble, be kind and generous with your love. And if it doesn't work out, it's going to be ok. Because you were bo…

To our children.

“When a person dies, all his deeds come to an end except three: ongoing charity, beneficial knowledge (which he has left behind), or a righteous child who will pray for him.” (At Tirmidhi)
“Is there anything left from the goodness I owe my parents I should present to them after their death?”  He replied, “Yes, four things:  1. Pray and ask forgiveness for them.   2. Fulfil their pledges.   3. Be kind to their friends.   And  4. Maintain the ties of kinship that come from only their direction”. (Ahmad, Abu Dawood &ibn Majah)  
Thus, it is understood that the kindness and gratitude we are obliged to show our parents should be continued even after their death.  Prophet Muhammad also told us about a man raised to a very high station in Paradise.  The man was surprised and asked how he achieved such a noble position.  He was informed,
“Because your son prayed for your forgiveness”. (Ibn Majah)
After God, our parents deserve our gratitude and obedience. Teach them to be obidience to Allah, teach…

Kawan vs Lawan

I believe we all have a lot to say, but finding ways to say it is more than half the battle.
Terbiasa jujur berucap dan menyelaraskannya dengan perbuatan, banyak kali membuatku terlihat nyeleneh di lingkungan sosial.Dan bikin diri sendiri berada dalam situasi yang cukup pelik.Ditambah lagi aku yang menjadi bingung saat menyaksikan kawan-kawanku tidak selaras ucapannya dengan perbuatannya.
Mungkin hal yang paling tidak bisa kutolerir adalah saat beberapa teman menyatakan ketidaksenangannya terhadap perilaku seseorang, tapi beberapa waktu kemudian kulihat sedang bersama-sama orang tersebut bersenang-senang.
Aku akan menjadi "si dia" yang dengan lantang menyatakan gak usah bergaul dengan mereka yang dibelakang bergunjing mengenaimu, namun bermanis paras dan lidah didepanmu.
Selektiflah memilih teman, teman yang bisa menerimamu sepenuhnya. Mengkritik di depan, menjadikanmu seseorang yang lebih baik dari seluruh penjuru arah.Karena mereka yang lain didepan, lain dibelakang adalah law…

Hidup Menoreh, Mati Meninggalkan.

Aku melirik benda peninggalan ayahku. Ada rasa sedih setiap kali aku melihatnya. Benda itu dihibahkan padaku setelah ayahku meninggal dunia.
Maka tiap ada yang berkomentar mengenai keindahannya, cerita yang sama bahwa ia diberikan padaku setelah beliau meninggal akan diulang.
Aku berjanji tidak akan membiarkan putriku memiki cerita yang sama bahwa aku meninggalkan sesuatu untuknya.  Aku ingin menoreh cerita saat aku masih berkehidupan bersamanya.
Karena jika aku sudah tak bernapas nanti, tak peduli berapa banyakpun yang kutinggalkan, ia tak akan seberharga seperti jika kuberikan saat aku masih hidup.
Kalimat "Ini pemberiaan mamaku waktu aku usia 17 tahun" tentu bisa menjadi kenangan yang lebih indah dibanding "Ini peninggalan mamaku, sayangnya beliau tidak sempat melihatku memakainya saat beliau masih bersamaku."
Mari hidup menoreh cerita, mati meninggalkan kenangan. Karena saat mati, tiada cerita yang bisa ditoreh lagi. Bahkan cerita yang kita toreh saat hidup itu, seper…


Menikah (lagi) diusia 43 tahun membuka begitu banyak pandangan mengenai hidup. Setelah pengalaman yang dilalui diperkawinan sebelumnya ditambah suami yang berbeda kebangsaaan dan terpaut usia yang cukup jauh, tidak pernah terbayangkan bahwa caraku melihat kehidupan akan seperti hari ini.
Kebendaan bukanlah lagi hal yang penting, namun 'gaya hidup' menempatkan posisi diatas kebendaan.
Sudah memiliki atau sudah pernah memiliki berbagai model jam tangan, tas, mobil dan benda-benda lainnya, sudah melewati masa pergaulan dimana status sosial cukup memegang peran dalam bersosialisasi. Hal-hal diatas menjadi SEKEDAR benda dan status.
Kami berdua sepakat untuk memiliki benda yang memberikan arti dalam hidup kami. Nominal benda tersebut tidak relevan lagi, bisa jadi sangat mahal atau murah tetapi bermakna, berfungsi dan yang utama adalah DIPERLUKAN dalam hidup kami.
Membuka lemari dapur di apartement kami di Melbourne, akan terlihat 4 piring makan, 4 piring kecil, 4 mangkok, 4 sendok besar …

Speak out

I decided long time ago, that it is better to speak out, to be truthful about who ourselves are. Back then, my silences had not protected me. After that I realized that we don't need to fake our happiness. It's ok to admit that we're unhappy, and doing something to change that. Because everyone of us deserves to be happy.
And my speaking out did irritate some people and disrupt some people's pretended harmony. But my speaking out also permit other people to speak. To be truthful.. Honest..And I learned something :  That only one thing is more frightening than speaking my truth. And that is not speaking. 
Ina MadjidhanJuly 2nd 2017


#throwback 2 years ago.Moved back with my mum since my father just passed away and I was just had my divorce finalized. I remembered my daughter and I was sleeping on the floor just because we didn't have furniture yet and I don't want to use any of my old furnitures. I cut my hair short after 25 years keeping my hair long. Throw away or give away most of my things. It was like I want to start everything new.But then I realize, starting over is not as simple as cutting my hair or moving out from my old house. The damage that happen to ourselves are leaving a permanent scars. It might fade away in time, but it's there. Always will. Starting new is not a way to lives with this kind of scars, acceptance is the answer. Those scars made us who we are today, a stronger and better person. I was on that GOD's blueprint, as moslem we call it fate or destiny. It was meant to be. And it was good for my soul. 

Emergency Door

Sejak awal tahun 2017, banyak sekali kawanku yang BERCERAI.Iya, CERAI adalah kata yang menakutkan.
Saat aku memutuskan untuk bercerai tahun 2013 dulu, aku kehilangan banyak teman. Ini cukup menarik untuk diperhatikan sebenarnya.
KENAPA KITA KEHILANGAN TEMAN SAAT KITA BERCERAI? Padahal kan perkawinan kita tidak ada sangkut pautnya dengan orang lain. Ingat, ini adalah observasi dan pendapat pribadi dari pengalamanku sendiri, tentu bisa saja berbeda pada orang lain.
Jika kita mendengar kabar atau cerita dari kawan kita yang apakah dengan sedih atau dengan lantang mengatakan "Aku dalam proses bercerai" Coba jujur, ada kekepoan (rasa ingin tau) apa sebenarnya yang terjadi? Kemudian pilihan kita adalah : 1. Menjadi pendengar, apakah nanti menjadi bahan gosip atau menjadi teman yang baik yang menyerap kisah kawan kita tersebut dan berempati. 2. Menghindar karena merasa tidak nyaman dan serba salah terutama jika pasangan yang bercerai itu keduanya adalah teman kita. 
Hasil dari kedua pilihan…


Jika membaca banyaknya pesepeda yang mengalami kecelakaan di jalan raya bahkan sampai meninggal dunia, pesan apa yang sampai pada kita? Terutama jika kita sendiri adalah pesepeda atau ada saudara kita yang bersepeda di jalan raya?
SAYA MEMILIKI VISI AGAR KEMATIAN DAN KECELAKAAN DI JALAN RAYA INDONESIA MENCAPAI ANGKA MINIM. Sebagai manusia memang wajar bahwa kita melakukan kesalahan. Tapi bagaimana meminimalisir kesalahan di jalan raya yang berdampak pada pemakainya terutama pesepeda, karena tubuh kita tidak didisain untuk menerima dampak benturan keras.
Karena itu kita perlu memastikan kita memiliki keamanan di jalan raya. Suatu sistim yang melindungi kita dari kesalahan kita sendiri maupun kesalaham orang lain sebagai…


A new study has shown for the first time how limonoids, natural compounds present in lemons and other citrus fruit, impede both ER+ and ER- breast cancer cell growth. This sheds new light on the importance of citrus fruit for breast cancer prevention and supports past studies which showed fruit consumption may lower breast cancer risk.
The lemon peel contains 5 to 10 times more vitamins than the lemon juice itself and the peel is the part that is usually wasted.  Not only that, but the peel helps to get rid of toxins in the body. But wait, there’s more. Lemon is effective in killing cancer cells because it is allegedly 10,000 stronger than chemotherapy.  This has not been revealed because there are people out there that want to make a synthetic, toxic version that will bring them huge profits. Shades of Monsanto.  The good news is that the taste of lemon is pleasant and does not deliver the horrific effects of chemotherapy. What’s bizarre is that people are closely guarding this fact so a…


You have to know when to put a STOP to what is happening to you.
To understand your worth and do something to get yourself out from your situation.
To truly not believing anymore to : "It was a mistake, I didn't mean it" or "I'm sorry, it won't happen anymore" or "I was just kidding".
Ask yourself this : Has he ever threatened to hurt you? Has he ever trapped you in a room and not let you out? Has he ever raised a fist as if he were going to hit you? Or worse, has he ever hit you? Has he ever held you down or grabbed you to restrain you? Has he ever thrown an object that hit you or nearly did? Has he ever make you feel so small and worthless as if no one would ever take you in but him?
If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then please, stop wondering whether he’ll ever be violent, he already has been.
Get yourself out. Now is the time.
IG @inamadjidhan

Liars Liars Pants On Fire

#word for today : When we are penalized for honesty we learns to lie.

It's discouraging to think how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.  And that's the thing about people who mean everything they say.  They think everyone else does too. Sadly, NOT. But for me, to believe in something, and not to live it, is dishonest. I do not want to start to learn to lie. The real things haven't changed.  It is still best to be honest and truthful.  Hiding how we really feel and trying to make everyone happy doesn't make us nice, it just makes us a liar.
Jika kita harus menerima konsekuensi yang tidak kita harapkan karena kita mengungkapkan sesuatu dengan jujur, maka kita akan belajar untuk berdusta. Mencengang bagaimana kita lebih bisa menerima white lies (walaupun dalam hati mengetahuinya) dibandingkan tertampar dengan kenyataan yang pahit.
Masalah yang dialami oleh mereka yang hidup berintegritas adalah mereka berpikir semua orang memiliki pemikiran yang sa…

Buttermilk Poppyseed Lemon Cake

Jadi Lemon Poppyseed Cake nya udah di coba. Ueeeenaaaak!
Aku baru pertama kali coba bikin, resepnya diadaptasi dari berbagai resep nemu di internet, ada yang aku ubah beberapa ingredient nya. Sesuaikan dg apa yg ada di kulkas aja.
1/4 cup buttermilk  1/4 cup poppyseeds 1/2 tsp vanilla essence 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour 1 teaspoon baking powder 1 teaspoon finely grated fresh lemon zest 1 cup salted butter, softened 3/4 cup sugar 3 large eggs
For the glaze: 5 tablespoons sugar 5 tablespoons fresh lemon juice or more if you want your cake moist.
Stir the milk and the vanilla essence together in a small bowl. 
Add the poppy seeds. Leave to soak for an hour.
Grease thoroughly your baking tin and line the bottom.
Pre-heat the oven to 375F 
First put the butter and sugar into a bowl and cream together using a wooden spoon.
Then add the rest of the ingredients and whisk together with a hand-held electric mixer.
Put into the cake tin and level the batter.
Bake in the middle of the pre-heate…

Seven unspoken truth about how to get on with life after getting myselfout from abusive relationship.

You would think when someone finally escapes an abusive relationship, the worst is over. 

You think with the source of the hurt removed, healing can begin.  But after the external danger is gone, and the abuser is (at least physically) out of the picture, the survivor’s internal journey is only beginning. 
While certain wounds are healing, different ones, wounds hidden by the relationship itself, erupt in agony. This is one reason it takes the average survivor of intimate partner violence seven times to leave for good. 
And it’s one reason most people have NO IDEA why it takes so long to heal. 
If I may share the challenges as a survivor, that I was facing AFTER I've gotten out.  Here it is :
1. STOP LIVING IN DENIAL. After I was out and the past abuse is out in the open, I was forced to acknowledge it instead of pretending that it wasn’t happening.  To integrate the awful things that happened to me into who I am, without letting them define me.  It’s way beyond reinventing myself by changin…